“Brunch is Gay” aka Just Another Day on #BlackTwitter
I’m sick of y’all shit! Ok, I’ve been sick but I had to curse yesterday because people are useless in their wit and banter. Who knows what ridiculous statements were made in the other Twitter neighborhoods. However, after reading a few tweets from supposedly straight men about other straight men going to brunch and drinking mimosas being gay I was ready for Saturday Morning Angry Twitter. Some fool actually had the gall to initiate THE dumbest Twitter conversation I’ve ever seen in the eight years I’ve used the service. I was so irritated by this stupidity, I opened YouTube to watch a web series called The Grapevine. The concept is having panel discussions among black (mostly) millennials with them discussing a wide range of topics popular among black millennials and those of us a little older — from Transgender dating to Lavar Ball and everything in between. I watched the latest episode on gold diggers. FYI — it was recorded before the Rob K./Blac Chyna Revenge Porn situation hit the internet early last week. This episode was extremely telling of how fragile ego is — male ego in particular — when it comes to hearing objective statements. Yes, we knew this but it was a reminder of this fact. A couple other takeaways:
Love isn’t always on the table when you’re wealthy but increased assets and net worth definitely are. In other words, love matters most to people who aren’t high net worth individuals — fair enough.
No one really wants to struggle with someone out the gate, and no one should be obligated to do so — also fair.
My thoughts on gold diggers have always been for them to know their Why, have an action plan, and also have an exit strategy. Treat it like the business arrangement it is and don’t get caught out there when the man is over you. I’ve never been concerned with how a supposed gold digger moves because I’m nowhere in the running to be sought out by one. My emotional intelligence also doesn’t allow me to be focused on the wrong shit, also why I never gave an emotional response when the topic comes up.
Once I was done watching The Grapevine, my man, Dave, hit me to see what I was getting into for the day. It just so happened he was making brunch at his house AND drinking mimosas and told me come through. I’m always down for home-cooked meals. I drank Prosecco though because orange juice is just fattening and mad acidic. We shot the shit about music and women, did some computer work, and then hit Bin 1301 on U Street to shoot more shit with a bartender buddy of ours. While there, we see two women he knew, Tierra and Angie — Tierra caught my eye as soon as I spotted her and I couldn’t take my eyes off her the whole time we were at the bar. We exchanged greetings, grabbed a couple beers, and then I asked both women what they’re thoughts were about gold diggers. Here I go always conducting polls and surveys. Anyway, Angie said she doesn’t believe in the term because it implies a socially constructed gender norm. I don’t remember Tierra giving a response. We didn’t stay on the topic long before we delved into astrological signs. I was tuned in when Tierra said she likes Virgos.
Me: Word? You’re already my friend.
Tierra: Female Virgos — male Virgos are a different breed.
Me: *Proceeds to checkout as with any other zodiac conversation*
I’m slow-walking my way into fully understanding spirituality and metaphysics. I got two crystals I regularly recharge and often travel with, have had oracle and African spiritual readings done, believe there is a higher power which makes the universe move, and I can quickly pick up on people’s vibes. Do I want to know about all twelve zodiac signs? No. I don’t want to make room in my brain to store the extensive information you have to learn regarding astrology — Issa vibe blower.
The 21st Century has shown more people abandoning traditional unions to spend more time with self-exploration in their careers, sexuality, personal development, etc. With the abandoning of tradition, discussions of what’s wrong in sex and dating come up more often compared to how often this was discussed just 20–30 years ago. If it wasn’t on a daytime talk show, it didn’t come up in public. In many of the conversations, however, I hear the longing for companionship masked with a knock out all these bucket list items as a way to avoid emotionally vulnerability undertone. Despite what the most well-known progressives among us say, there are a great number of people who thoroughly desire some element of tradition. I’m one of them. While I can come up with plenty of reasons to be a card-carrying progressive, I said in one of my first blog posts I like courting and it’s fun for me. Yet, every other topic on the internet centered on interpersonal relationships leads back to gender expression/roles and how much of ourselves to withhold because most people have a self-serving agenda. Evolution is occurring right in front of us and we call it tearing down stereotypes/social norms. I’m positive there were social standards among humans even at our most primitive. I don’t think patriarchy and toxic masculinity came into existence once dominant cultures (this includes some non-white, non-European folks) decided to impose their ways throughout the world. Not saying social standards and behaviors can’t be perverted and harmful, but I doubt we would’ve gotten this far without some sort of dominance vs submissive factor in the mix. I don’t believe a be kind, please rewind utopia is realistic without a major evolutionary change. This could be good or bad, though none of us alive today will live to see the outcome. Technology could end up replacing any and all need for human interaction in the developed world which would be another sad phenomenon. Until this day comes, we at least know love is still desired by most people who ain’t rich and struggling together out the gate isn’t, right?
